The immigration issue keeps gnawing at me. It sits there at the front of my brain waiting to be resolved ...

And -- I surely don't have enough ego to believe that I, alone, can solve it. The problem is that this is one of those times when I have friends on all sides of the issue -- friends whom I respect and admire. It's my own ill-defined position that troubles me.

It came up again for me this week when an invitation arrived announcing a big meeting being held at Easter Hill United Methodist church where the matter will be discussed by leaders of the black community. The questions to be explored are those that I've asked myself repeatedly over time. To hear the opinions of other African Americans who are struggling with the same issues would be extremely valuable. Why, then, have I not responded to the invitation? Why do I remain so conflicted? Did I just accidentally trash the email? Or, does the fact that I did so indicate a reluctance to face my own feelings about it? Interesting questions.

I've rarely ever ducked out on confronting controversial issues -- but this one continues to gnaw at me without resolution.

Think I'll go back to my mailbox -- read it over (if it's still there) and try to struggle my way through it this weekend. I need to know for myself just where I stand -- and in a way that is direct and uncomplicated and that will resonate with my family and friends who still look to me for guidance from time to time in matters of politics.

If I can't find a solid position that I can defend in my present state of mind-- then I must reconsider by re-framing the questions in order to allow myself to change the way I'm thinking about it.

Maybe it is this that is so difficult.