Interesting how life continues to be all-of-a-piece ..,
even over what seems eons of time. There's a crazy kind of predictable rationality operating that defies logic.
Yesterday Jennifer and I attended a luncheon at the San Francisco Foundation offices with a group of arts funders from around the Bay. It was my first such meeting as a private citizen, and it took some time for me to resist the urge to identify myself as "field representative for ...". Going to miss that power base, for sure. Not sure just who I am without those business cards. My power no longer emanates from the State of California, and that's significant. In a way it's reminiscent of those days of wondering just who I was without the men in my life to define me, the replaying of an old theme.
After a delicious vegetarian lunch and some exciting informal presentations by program reps and a number of nonprofit execs, it began to feel more comfortable. The problem was that I knew why we were here (locating the source of funds for our ventures in Richmond), but was totally dependent upon Jennifer's expertise to identify the relevance to our goals. Kept trying to generalize from the specific; to figure out just which persons around that huge conference table held the key to our goals, and just which of my personal resources to bring to bear upon that. This would occupy me for the next two hours. Itched to enter the conversations for a bit, but eventually decided that this may be the time to simply listen and learn.
Then it began to dawn on me that those personal resources were made up of being the parent of Bob Reid, Music Resource for the Santa Cruz Schools and Young Audiences (their chief exec was sitting at the other end of the long table), Dorian Reid, National Institute for Artists with Disabilities (NIAD) artist, and as a five year member of the board of directors of the East Bay Center for the Performing Arts. This was my frame of reference. When I mentioned Bob there was a smile of recognition from the Santa Cruz team, and that felt good. Finally, felt myself settle into the room comfortably, and content to listen without the urge to speak. That's when I know I'm totally there.
Bob's appearances with the UN Children's Choir at the United Nations in New York, his work with Pete Seeger's Hudson River tours and with the National Triplet's Conventions for several years running, his current work with music composition with school children of all ages, as well as his solo performances around the Monterey Bay communities -- in this board room -- became the foundation now for my own work. We've come full circle. The torch has been passed. It felt so right. I am now "Bob Reid's Mother!" In Berkeley, I've already become "David Reid's Mother," since he is now fully identified as owner-proprietor of our family business, "Reid's of Berkeley." It really did work out. Those arrows soared in an arc then fell just precisely where time and life might have predicted.
And...that makes me miss Rick all the more -- to be reminded of my Dorian who will live her life like the bird with the broken wing ... designed to fly, but unable to fulfill the promise for reasons far beyond her control, or mine.
But it's Bob who is with me this morning ... in my imagination ... .
Will call him later.